"Nobody said it was easy.
 No one ever said it would be this hard
 Oh ! take me back to the start..."

Somtimes I want to give up and leave all the things and dont look at behind me because I think I'm exhausted here I know I'm young to feel like that, but at the same time I dont want to waste my time, many people tell me I'm not wasting time here I'm learning, but I have a feeling like Im stuck , maybe it is my imagination or my life changed a lot, but it is the way I'm feeling. I want to come back home, but I can't Like american always say and they are right: "you can't go home again" that's really true. It is hard leave home, but hardest come back home. This is worstest feeling that I have never had before. you guys know how I'm feeling, but the same time I want to be here forever. That strange, allright! But u know why? I was talking to my friend from Brazil and he told me he's making 700,00 reais a monthly in brazil. that's so bad! Can I make a question? how do people can survive with 700,00 a month? I know some people are pretty lucky and get a little more money as 1200,00 a monthly, but still a little for paying rent, food, phone and an others stuffs as cable, net, etc if you no have kids it is ok, but if you have kids the life will be more expensive and hardest in brazil, money for diapers, milk, bottle and etc. Any way That's not What I wan to talking about it. I'm here to tell you what going on in my poor fucking amazing life.

Well, I'm still working at the same place (foodtown supermarket) as a poor cashier, I dont like that fucking job, but it is over there where I'm getting experience as such improvement my skills, my english, meet people and making new friends and this is the best part. the managers usually Ana (mexican lady) they are stupid and rude people, they dont talk to the employee no have fluent english, but they think they are the best just because they're manegers and I'm employee, but I really dont care about it now my time will come and everything will pay me off in the future hopifully.

Of course If I had taken english in high school I would have a better oportunities job or if I have been born in USA I would not need a visa. that the problem I have found here every single fucking day, but here still better than in brazil, but only thing I'm sure I'll live here forever and one day I will be back.

Abou the CNA course I'm still trying to get the work license as a nurse assistant, the last time I did I pass the pratical skills test, but I fail the written test, that the only one I need to do again and I hope I will get it.